SURVIVOR

I've decided that instead of forwarding funny and insightful emails, I'll just post them on our blog. So here goes - this one's a good one!

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects , cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.
Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.
He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.
He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.
Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:
each child's birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size
and doctor's name.
Also the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear and
what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

Pumpkin Patches, Hay Rides, & Corn Mazes!!!

Nothing says "October" like a trip to the pumpkin patch! So we loaded up the family Infiniti and headed out to the 'burbs (Meridian) to Linder Farms. Besides smelling like a farm, we got to feed animals and Peyton & Ashley got to ride horses around in a circle. I must also say that we did pretty well in the corn maze -- much better than Jeff and I did on our first date (when we "cheated" and went out one of the gates).

On the Hay Ride

Peyton's Horse

Ashley's Horse

Aren't They Cute???

Still A Ham!

Ashley Loves Soccer (Finally)!

It's taken Ashley a little while to warm up to it, but she is finally enjoying soccer!

Of course, she's still a goofball!

To Women & Mothers

...not written by me, but I agree with everything said herein!...

I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the hairspray I use and the friends I have. To the cool women who have touched my life. Here's to you! It is good to be a woman: 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. 3. Taxis stop for us. 4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo. 6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves. 7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end. 9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 10. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot. 13. We will never regret piercing our ears. 14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway. MOTHERS Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox. Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids. Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of carpets. Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up. Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?' and get their answer when a little voice says, 'Because I love you best.' Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade...It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother... The Images of Mother 4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything! 8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything. 14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either. 16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned. 18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date! 25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it! 35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion. 45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it? 65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Fall = Soccer Season

Peyton is back in action -- this time the team name is the "Flaming Cobras." Ashley started playing soccer, too -- they call it "PAKS" for "Parents And Kids Soccer" which means that Jeff or I have to play with her. Since I got Jeff to coach Peyton's team, I usually get to play with Ashley; she has almost reached my skill level so I'm ready for a real coach to take over next year!

Back to School

OK, OK, OK...so I haven't blogged for awhile. But it's Jeff's fault. He had this grand idea that when Peyton went back to school I should change my schedule so I could go in early and leave at 3:00 to pick up Peyty-Skate after school. Which means I now have to be at work at 7:00 am. I am NOT a morning person. It's been a month and I'm STILL NOT a morning person. I should be grateful that I have a husband who cares so much and was willing to change his schedule so he could drop the kids off at school and preschool in the mornings--and I am grateful. But this shift to the mornings is throwing me off a bit. So that's my excuse for not blogging in 5 weeks.

As far as 2nd grade goes, Peyton loves it. I like to think he gets his school-nerdiness from me. I loved school. I still like the idea of school, although I was more than ready to finish my master's degree. Peyton has to read for 20 minutes every night, has math homework on Mondays, and 10 spelling words every week. After talking to the other moms I realize that Peyton is pretty good at all of it and we're extremely lucky that he is.

Ashley is still at the Children's Village at the downtown YMCA. She is one of the older ones now and stands a full head taller than all the other kids. I am NOT kidding. She's only 3 inches shorter than Peyton--she is bigger than some of the girls in Peyton's 2nd grade class!

Did I mention I joined the PTA? I told you this morning thing is changing me...

Idaho State Fair 2008

1st on the agenda: RIDES!

Ashley & Daddy in the Haunted House!
Peyton on the Flying Swings!
Ashley brushes the cow's butt...
Peyton (wisely) brushes the cow's shoulder.

Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!

It rarely gets over 100 degrees in Boise, but it's been pretty hot lately. This is a picture of some candles in our backyard. : (

DINKs

DINK = Double Income No Kids

Jeff and I had the opportunity to remember what it was like before we had kids when we sent them to Utah for two weeks (one week with Grandma Judy and one week with Grandma Chewy). I won't lie, it was nice. On Saturday we met my mom half way in Burley and turned over control of the kids to her. Then we spent the afternoon driving through Sun Valley and Stanley. On Sunday we rode our bikes downtown and had a nice dinner at Asiago's. I think we ate out every night that week--at least, I don't remember cooking--it was either eat out or eat cereal.

Our good friends from Salt Lake, Kim & Dan, came up the next weekend for some Boise fun. We did a restaurant tour downtown on Friday night stopping at Piazza di Vino for appetizers, Pair for drinks, and Berryhill & Co. for an extremely delicious dinner. We even did some shopping along the way! On Saturday Jeff took the guys hiking in the Boise foothills while Jen slept in (another benefit of not having kids around). After breakfast we took the raft down the Boise river--it's much more mellow when Peyton and Ashley aren't there to douse us with water! Saturday afternoon we took an excursion to the Idaho wine country - yes, we have quite a collection of vineyards only 30 minutes from Boise. We capped off Saturday night with dinner at Barbacoa--Dan tells us there's a cheap taco place in Salt Lake called Barbacoa--fortunately, the Boise Barbacoa is fine dining at it's best (somewhere we couldn't go with kids!). It was a great weekend - I felt like a real adult - and it was great catching up and visiting with Kim and Dan. Thank you for coming!

While the kids were gone our friend Carolyn asked me what we would do with our time; "watch R-rated movies!" I said. Hey, not X-rated, just R-rated. Well, we did go to see Batman / The Dark Knight and it was rated PG-13 (although it should be rated R). Very good! Man, that Heath Ledger was scary. And Christian Bale can be my Batman any day.

After our guests left and we ate out at all the "grown-up" restaurants we could think of, we started missing the kids. A lot. We're used to having Peyton crawl in bed with us every night and snuggle so there was an obvious void every morning. And it was eerily quiet when Jeff and I ran out of conversation and there was no Ashley there to laugh/scream/cry. I left work early on Friday and sped to Kaysville to pick them up (Jeff had to work 'til 5:00 and I didn't want to wait for him!) I cried when I saw the kids and I think I made Peyton cry, too! We three were pretty mushy and clingy those first few days. By Sunday both of the kids just wanted to see Daddy and by Sunday night we were a family of four again. I think even Charley was glad to have them home (Figaro couldn't care less).

Moral of the Story: Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder!

Grandma's

I found this poem when I was looking through a picture album my Grandpa gave me a while back. I wrote this after my freshman year in college -- my mom, Leo, Harley, and I took a trip to Nebraska and weaved our way back to Utah through Sturgis and Yellowstone (you have to love family trips to Sturgis!). Anyway, I wanted to share it because it basically says it all about the summers I spent in West Point, Nebraska, with Grandma and Grandpa.

Ahhh...vacation. A vacation to Grandma's house is like no other. Someone at work asked me why: “Because it's Grandma's, duh," I said. Some people just don't understand.

Grandma's is fried chicken and mashed potatoes, peach pie, and favorite desserts. It's frozen chocolate chip cookies dipped in morning-old java and all-you-can-eat french toast feasts. At Grandma's, the scale is hidden in the bathroom cupboard and the pounds you gain are laughed at and not cared about.

Grandma's is crisp clean sheets and falling asleep to chirping crickets after a nighttime bath. It's patio picnics and Grandpa's flowers and crimson radishes from his garden. With Grandma's comes West Point and brick-lined Main Street, Smitty's, and Graybeals. It's the essence of small-town life and the idea that gold is wrapped in a green husk.

jro 7/25/96